Death by Warhammer

I have thrown a 5, therefore the picnic table and everything in it is mine

Recently I was savagely assassinated by a horde of Warhammer characters. It was brutal and there was lots of roaring and at one point one of the die actually rolled under the sofa. My friend, Toby Whistler, said it was the nastiest Warhammer death he had ever seen. After the 3-hour kill session was over, Toby, Ryan, Michael and I ate Maltesers and drank some Lilt. It was nice, in spite of the aforementioned slaying. Here is a list of the names of my murderers:

Therthetter Perkatamor

The Kretertheerpetterthet

Thoth, Son of Hoth

Fruthticulus Grooth

Goeth Mifanwy

Pithy Nathtuth

Frothty the Thnowman

Mathathakathawa the Cruthipulon

Et tu, Buth-tithi-wait-tabithiculastes Gerwrongtube?


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4 Responses to “Death by Warhammer”

  1. oldrope Says:

    You wanna watch that Thoth, Son of Hoth. He’s a right piece of work. He has the Femidom of Ildor and thus is rendered indestructible (and impotent) for two whole turns. If he chooses to use it, you can bet there’s gona be trouble. For starters you’ll need to buy more dice. He gets to roll an unprecidented 27 dice, including the rather rare 73.5 sided one you can only buy on the internet from Russia!!!! It’s a laugh riot! Pass the lilt.

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Oh no. It’s the Old Rope, the snaggletoothed Warlock of Brundu. Quick, have a look in the manual and see how to beat him. Hmmm. It says here he can be defeated by a turd empanada, i.e. a 3 followed by a 5. Roll, Toby, Roll, and stop hogging those ‘tesers you Barinthian Gut-Troll.

  3. oldrope Says:

    Snordark! As we swear in the land of Br’toth. THe cursed snurk only went a rolled a bally 3 and a 4. I am heartily weakened and must sit the next round out. Still, anyone want anything from the corner shop?

  4. johnlebaptiste Says:

    This Lilt is off. Groo. I don’t want to play anymore. And I’m taking my die with me.

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